I would fall to my knees
I would be crying
I would be feeling
I would be seeing
I would be believing spiritually,

a sudden tragedy
a sudden scar
to all teens
in our generation
a sudden shock
caught up by confusing questions
that are left unanswered.

yesterday
when I said good-bye to my friend
I didn’t know that I also said good-by to GOD.

I blamed GOD for not stopping the gun from shooting
I blamed GOD for not standing by my side while I
faced enemies everyday
time and time again I blamed GOD

at that time I was full of fear
frightened, scared feelings--
love--nothing was there anymore
but GOD was by my side for evermore,
he had sent me a flash, a vision
I was awake, I was alert
but the vision he had given hurt
trying to make it in a separate world
I can’t survive in a separate world,

today I blame myself
I was the one who walked away
I was the one who held fear

once I was in darkness
once I was dead
once I had a stone heart
once I didn’t want to hear the trust
once I didn’t want to see that truth
once I was the one with the saber
once I was the one who crucified CHRIST
once I was a lost solider.

_____________

Sitting there so cold
outside you think you’re so bold
the tears you cry
are so cold and made of ice
you’ve made your decision
your heart tells you to think twice
you do what you feel
and now what you know is for real.....

Sunday night
not even knowing a sight
sitting in the back pew
everyone says hello and greets you
something makes you sit and stay
one that one Sabbath Day

"is there anyone who needs a little
touch of HIS grace and love?"......
The preacher starts to talk
out of your gaze
a bunch of hands start to raise.

You’ve heard the music
but paid no attention to the lyrics
never really believed.
So, you sit there listening.
Then, from your feet you feel yourself rising
like electricity
you stand to your feet off the pew
you have a heavy burden hangin’ off you,
you hear a harsh voice speak to you:
"He’ll never love you, He won’t accept you.
You’re a freak, He only loves the meek."

You hear another voice
full of peace and joy.
"It’s your choice
He’s healing you right now
He’s loving you more and more
He’s the only ONE who can break the mold."

Tears start flowing from your eyes
when the voice says "He’s by your side."
You feel the love and joy overcome
you expected the unexpected
seeing the light
you take off and your chains and earrings
then you fall to your knees,
your soul crying out "Forgive me, Father."

God has changed you
making everything new
making changes
heart - stone turned to clay
boldness - turned to warm feelings
tears - joyous, peaceful, and loving.
GOD has rained His shower of grace
over this weakened, lost child...

HE has changed this zombie’s heart.

Seeing my life
You see it right before your eyes
You care, never pass them by
You hold me, your embracing
By your love, your healing
When I’m sad and depressed
There in your arms I lay on your chest
When you hear me and my cry
You say to me, "child
Just think about Christ who died,
Look beyond the clouds and sky
HIS arms are always open wide."

Then I fall to my knees,
Crying out, "will you forgive me?"

....And when I saw Him, I fell at his feet as dead. And he laid His right hand upon me, saying unto me, fear not; I am the first and the last; I am HE that liveth, and was dead; and behold, I am alive for evermore, Amen; and have the keys of hell and of death... Revelations 1:17-18

________________

At school, separated by different groups
Because you don’t fit in
Scared what they might think
They might laugh and point
You just lay back in your mask
And hide from the humility and pain,
All crowded around you
Like a crowd in a little room
Everybody in their own masks
All kinds of different masks,

Suddenly I felt a weakness
I fell to my knees
There’s one person that stands out
One person who stood in front of me
Who can only set me free
Who is different from the rest
HE took my mask off
HE saw my tears fall,
People felt HIM only inside their hearts
And knew what was right and wrong

They started taking off their masks
Tears fell from others
Faces of the forgiven ones
HE knelt down, putting HIS arms around me
I stood to my feet, while HE held me
"You’re not alone anymore, You’re never alone
When you know me."

I just stayed in his arms
While HE’s embracing, HE’s healing
Even taking away the pain and shame.

__________________

last night Satan sat upon my bed
as I lay asleep
my soul sat up
I saw Jesus standing in the corner of my room
why was this dark angel sitting upon my bed
he giggled and then said
"He’ll never take you, you’ve lost and I won"
the words were so cold
I could see my own breath
I was breathing with so much fright
he touched his crooked, long pointer finger
in between my eyes

in that sight
I saw that someone had died
I knew who it really was inside
I got so cold as ice
fearful tears started running
he moved his crooked finger back
giggled again and said
"see, I get you and you lose.
You die, that was your destiny
for your own eternity,
you care your burden for me.
Gluttony, sloth, lust, envy
you have too many sins
you can’t get to heaven
and you never will."

I looked at him straight in the eye
and said with pride
"WHAT IF I SAY
SOMEONE ELSE ALREADY HOLDS MY SOUL
SOMEONE WHO DIED UPON A TREE
IN CALVARY
DON’T YOU SEE.......YOU LOSE?????!!!

He laughed
"no, you can’t"
I slid my feet onto the cold floor
stood up, walking in front of him
face to face
giggled and said
"I just did!
HE wasn’t broken for nothing
HE didn’t die for nothing,
for you it’s blinding."

Then I ran into JESUS’ open arms,
while Satan screamed out sarcastically
out of his last breath
"you’ve got this one O’HOLY ONE,
but there’s more to come than this."

With his coldness, he left like a flea.

_______________________

She woke up
Looked outside the window
The glazing sun
Looking back at her
Brightening the early ones
She started singing praises
To HIM up above
She sat to read a verse
A psalm
A praising song
She got up, stretched
Brushed her hair and got dressed
She grabbed her bag
Headed out for an unmapped journey
That only her minds eye seeks
She grabbed her keys
Started driving
To the unmapped journey

He woke up
Looked at the clock
Hit the alarm off
Looked outside the window
The glazing sun
Looking back at him
Awakening the early ones
He started a conversation
To HIM up above
H sat to read a verse
A Proverbs
To have more knowledge
He got up, stretched
Brushed his teeth and got dressed
He grabbed his back pack
Headed out for an unmapped journey
That only his minds eye seeks
He grabbed his keys
Started driving
To the unmapped journey.
She didn’t like the highway
But with CHRIST she had faith,
He didn’t like the highway either
But with CHRIST he sang with rejoice
Only CHRIST makes the choice,

The unexpected changing moment
Happened to both of them,
Screeching wheels
Unexpecting swerving
Breaking glass
They both get in a car crash,
Her head hit the windshield
His head hit the steering wheel
Police and ambulance got to the scene

* * *

They stood together
‘Where are we and what happened?" she whispered
"Well, I feel we are in heaven, and I think we both
Slipped away in the accident" he mumbled.
Suddenly they found themselves
Standing in front of the pearly gates
An Angel stood before the gates
"You know what to do right?" she said
"Yeah", he said, then started singing "Rejoice in the
LORD always and again we say rejoice...."
She started laughing with glee and said
"Are you ready?"
"I’m always ready teddy. Oh wait, I have
something to ask this beautiful angel first.

Angel, how is Keith Green? How about the main
Ragamuffin, Rich Mullins? How about Cassie
And Wesley? Okay, how about my cousin
Vinney.......?"
"What are you doing?" she laughed out
"Oh, I’m sorry. I always lose myself
When it comes to CHRIST and Angels.
But Ladies first." He said
"Okay, Angel is my name in the book?"

The Angel did not retort
"Oh, I have an idea" he said, he started singing
Again, "Our GOD is an awesome GOD, HE reigns
From heaven above....." "Okay, this Angel must be
On retirement or on vacation. Lord, can we
Have another Angel, one that’s on the clock?"
"How about Gabriel?" "Lord, Lord...."

Suddenly the moment had changed again

* * *

She awoke in a hospital bed
She looked around
Up and down
She took the hospital needles off
She slipped her feet onto the ground
She stood up, stretched
And got dressed.
He awoke in a hospital bed
He glimpsed one eye open first
And then both
He looked around
Up and down
He took the hospital needles off
He put his feet on the floor
He stood up, stretched
And got dressed.

She was on the second floor
Of the hospital
He was on the first floor
Of the hospital
She remembers the tune
But doesn’t remember the words
Of that one song he had sung.
She went walking down the hall
Checking every room for him
He went walking down the hall
Singing out loudly
The words of praise
"Rejoice in the LORD always...."
She could barely hear him
And that song,
She ran up to the nurse
At the front desk
"Where is that coming from?" she said
The nurse retorted with such shock
"From downstairs--and Miss you had a flat-line!"
"Well, the dear LORD works in ways", she said.
She ran to the elevator
Pushed the button
She didn’t want to wait
She’s a little impatient
So, she ran down the stairs
Skipping steps
There she found him
In the middle of the hall.

He was facing away from her
He was still singing the song
She started singing the song
He turned around
She ran up to him,
"So, was this GOD’s unmapped journey?" he asked
"Probably for us to meet", she said
"What an oddly unexpected mystery. I guess
The Angel couldn’t stand my CHRIST-like
Humor. I guess she gets tourists like
Us all the time. I suppose GOD put our
Journey together. I mean, I know GOD
Works in mysterious way, but what a
Way to put two together."

"So, what happens now?" she asked.
"Wait for the last chapter to take place."
He said looking up, "Come on, ‘OUR GOD
IS AN AWESOME GOD, HE REIGNS FROM
HEAVEN ABOVE................

________________________

A friend had died
For no cause
Or reason why
When he had left
My feelings for GOD had left

I thought that GOD would take care of the rest
I didn’t want to believe
I didn’t want to see
Through Jesus’ eyes’ anymore
But still through my pain and despair
HE saw through
HE saw what was there
HE was there
In reality I did not want to care
My feelings became empty
I lost all hope and faith
I did not want to see
What was really happening,

For a year
I did not rest easy
I did not sleep in peace
Angels layed at my feet sleeping
While demons stood watching
Getting all the joy
From the nightmares they were giving
And I was receiving
Darkness was all around
Like a candle blown out
They fed at my youth
And fed into my despair
I became so numb

One day of aching
GOD had sent three
Fishermen out to me
My door was open
My excuses were open
My heart was stone
But I had listened
And saw the proof
Angels presence stood I know
In the same room
CHRIST saw me through,
This moment
These angels that lay before me
As I make my vow
I lay my burdens down
At the foot of CHRIST
Unto HIM, HE is my light

All this time
I should’ve fallen on my knees
Instead I stood in darkness
With fearful tears crying
And all this time
I wasn’t listening
To the angel before me
Whispering
"HIS blood was shed for you
HE was always consuming you
HE was calling your name
You did not seek out HIS name
HE is calling your name right now
While you’re making your vow
See through Jesus’ eyes
HE saw your plea and cry
Faith is the substance of things
Hoped for, the evidence of things
Not seen.
Didn’t you know
Through your sorrow
Unconditionally
HE did take care of the rest
HE did"

As the voice faded out
I had no more doubts
I was standing before CHRIST
HE wiped away the tear from my eye
HIS hand on my brow
I fell to the ground
I fell at his feet as dead
HE layed HIS hand upon my head
And HE said,
"My child
Do not cry
Do not dread
All is forgiven"

And I responded
"Hallelujah"

____________________________

A new baby born
A beautiful boy
GOD gave you that joy
Teaching him how to walk
Teaching him how to talk
Teaching him right from wrong
You see that he’s grown up
And making his own decisions,
Making good friends all around
Always happy, never having a frown
A happy go-lucky kid,
When you felt down in the blues
He knew when to call
He knew how to make you laugh
He knew how to make you feel good;

Beautiful fourteen-year old boy
So young, but big at heart
At home Saturday evening
With two good best friends
Goofing around and laughing
Setting and watching TV,
Suddenly the moment changed
Angels stopped by watching
Demons stood there waiting

He got a powerful gun
The gun shot off
Nothing happened
An angel standing next to one of the friends
Telling him to go put it away.
Tears flowed from the angel’s eyes
Three angels circled him,
Gun shot again
Nothing happened
Tears still flowed
Gun shot the last time

He fell over
No sound, no scream
Only struggling
He grabbed an angel’s
Reaching hand
The wings surrounded them
Like a covering blanket
No looking back,
He saw two other angels
Surrounding his two friends
Angels with tears
Friends with tears
With confusion, pain, and tears.
We all ask the same confusing questions,

Why?
What was he thinking?
How could he have thought to do that?

The biggest no. 1 question is
Where is he at now,
Heaven or hell?

We don’t have any of these answers
And we’ll never have one either.
Angels and demons are by us
All of the time, day through night.
Maybe it might’ve been GOD’s mysterious way
Of showing us
Of what we really need in our lives
To comfort us
Is JESUS CHRIST.

Some people say he must’ve wanted to escape
So he found a way out
But escape from what?
There is only one, ONE way out
Just two words
JESUS CHRIST.
He is the way,
The truth,
The life,
And the light that shines so bright.

Make a decision
Make it one way
It might be the hard way
But make it JESUS’ way
Let’s not have another loved friend
Leave us like this one did.

________________________